This week’s focus: Trust
New York Times best selling author, Stephen Covey is quoted saying, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
This week let’s focus on this vital aspect of relationships and how to establish and maintain trust in our relationships.
The bible talks a lot about trust. Here is what David said about it, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Psalms 56:3). See, even our faith is the result of our trust.
Why is trust so important?
Trust is important because your relationships cannot surpass the depth of trust that you have established. It doesn’t matter what potential that person has, or even what they would like to do for you, or what you would like to do for them. People will only experience other people based on the depth of trust that has been established with them.
Simply put, you can’t have meaningful, honest, heart-felt relationships without trust.
Though we understand how important trust is, and value it as essential to our relationships, people still struggle with either trusting people, or being able to regain the trust of others. Both are essential to having healthy relationships.
Some people have a difficult time trusting others because of past experiences and a fear of something bad happening again. Others may have been the one to make mistakes in the past and it has changed the way they view themselves, and how others view them. It’s hard to rebuild trust, if you struggle with believing in yourself, or are constantly reminded of the mistakes of the past.
This week let’s focus on 3 keys to building trust which can help you build a deeper bond with those you love.
Here are 3 Ways to build trust:
Be consistent. Lincoln Chafee said it best, “Trust is built with consistency.” I remember my receiver coach telling me the secret to having a career in the NFL. He said, “If you want to make it here, you have to catch every pass you are supposed to catch, and half of the ones you aren’t supposed to catch.”
What he was saying is that if I wanted to make it, I had to prove myself consistent in doing things the right way all the time. He couldn’t put his full trust in me if I ran the right route on plays only 80% of the time. I had to prove that I would be in the right place, at the right time, all the time.
The same holds true in life. Our consistency is what gives people proof that we can be trusted to do the right thing.
Know your relational balance. Knowing your relational balance has to do with the analogy of looking at your relationship like your bank account. You had a beginning balance from your initial deposit. And then you get frequent statements of your account balance based on your deposits and withdrawals. When building relationships, it’s important to know what your relationship balance is.
Every relationship started with a beginning balance of time and energy that you deposited in it. And everyday you make transactions based on what you do or say that is either adding to the account balance, or withdrawing from it.
Some of you may find that the balance has a negative balance! If so, remember that everyday you are incurring an additional NSF charge to your relationship. You can tell this if you are constantly reminded of past mistakes, and it seems like nothing you do is enough. So you will have to work even harder to get your relationship to a positive balance, and then build from there.
Commit long-term. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your relationship. Anything worth having will take time to build correctly. Commit to the vision of what you are building for. When the vision of what you really want becomes more real than the current status of your relationship, you will see progress…over time. Enjoy the journey, and all the things that you learn about yourself and those you love in the process.
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